As I think about the numerous “Real Hollywood Mom” stories and experiences I have had, continue to have, and want to share here I am seeing a theme. Remember my HE-SHE post? (I hope so because it was a good one, unless you are horrified by such
Brought Roan with me to a Geico commercial audition today. It’s alright to bring your child to commercial auditions, as opposed to auditions for TV shows or Movies. I don’t like to make a habit of it, for Roan and the other auditionees sakes, however I do not have a full time Nanny so it’s unavoidable.
Roan and I were waiting in the glassed in viewing area of the dance studio at the YMCA. I had enrolled Roan in tumbling because he has energy to burn and seems to be really coordinated. I was glad to see there were some burly little boys along with a few girls in tutus.
Tranny-Whores (or, "Mommy What's a HE-SHE?" part 1)
Roan and I were in our car, waiting at a stoplight on the corner of La Brea and Santa Monica Blvd. Not exactly the epicenter of Tranny-Whore ville,* but close enough that there were a smattering of tranny whores waiting on the corner or at the bus stop along with Mexican nannies and homeless people. A particularly masculine whore was standing about five feet from our car.
I’m Ariane Price and… I’m a *REAL* Hollywood Mom. No, I’m not a celebrity. But I am an actress, I am a mom to my fantastically amazing 3 year old son Roan (thingsroansays.twitter.com) and I do live in Hollywood. I can even see the “H” from the HOLLYWOOD Sign from my front porch. I know, you’re not convinced. Because when you think of “Hollywood Moms” you think of ladies like these…
and women like these:
(Interesting how most of the women gracing the tabloids aren’t even actresses… they are, what are they? Pretty reality ladies?)
(no airbrushing… my son was over 10 pounds at birth! Yikes!)
So, yeah, there are Celebrity Hollywood Moms who get all gorgeous for pregnant belly magazine covers but there are also Hollywood Moms like me. With equally impressive bellies. (right?) Moms who are working as actresses but haven’t quite gotten their big break yet. Who are persuing their dreams WHILE potty training, breast feeding, giving time outs, cuddling, reading Dr. Seuss and answering “WHY” question after “WHY” question.
I once had to pump my engorged milk filled boobs while driving to a meeting with a potential new agent. When I met Zac Efron I fantasized that he would think of me as a M.I.L.F. (not a chance with his young hottie Vanessa Hudgens on his arm). I once found myself throwing up into a toilet from morning sickness as I congratulated my good friend who got cast on SNL. I, myself, later auditioned for SNL, again, boobs engorged with milk for the baby I left miles away-hoping I could somehow get cast too AND still be a great mom to my 3 year old Roan. (That decision was made for me, didn’t get hired)
Tomorrow I have an audition for a new TV show pilot. It’d be great if I had a moment to shave my legs and blow out my hair for it, but Roan loves the hair blow dryer and uses it as a microphone to sing songs from The Backyardigans into. I’ll have to find my Spanx (I don’t get airbrushing… celebrity moms do) make sure to cover up my Melasma with makeup (with no help from a professional make up artist) before getting into my rotten apple juice and cheerios scented car (no personal driver for me) to go to my appointment.
Like Celebrity Hollywood Moms Madonna and Rosie O’Donnell, my mom died when I was a little girl. Unlike Rosie and Madonna I didn’t get interviewed by Oprah to talk about it. But in true Hollywood Spirit I DID write a comedic (yes, comedic) solo show all about it called “Dead Moms Don’t Hug” (cause they don’t.)
I’m always looking for the funny side of things. In my life, It’s everywhere. Especially being a full time mom and actress. Sometimes trying to combine these two worlds feels like an uphill battle. But I love my life. It’s not all a struggle or a shlep. Getting cast on two of my favorite TV shows this year has me enjoying the journey a lot more. Encouraging reviews of my work from LA Times and others add much needed fuel to a tired auditioning mom’s fire at the end of a rough day.
At the Groundlings Theater where I am a Company Member I get to fulfill my every creative whim performing improv and original sketches with some of the funniest and most talented actors and actresses in Hollywood. Sometimes my son Roan even gets a part of the action:
I’ve always loved a good story. Being a Real Hollywood Mom has given me a wealth of them. From the insane to the embarrassing, the exciting, heartbreaking and hilarious… These are the stories I can’t wait to share with you. Thanks for following me! I promise, it’s gonna be a great ride.